Arizona is getting HOT HOT HOT...

And here are some things we enjoyed while the weather was PERFECT!

 A few weeks ago I went to tuck Gwen in and saw this.

We got a good laugh.

The boys and I happened upon this while we were staying at the Marriott in Scottsdale with the Carlson clan.  Gwen refused to participate and locked herself in the room.  

I had trouble keeping an eye on Cash.

He loved this guy.

 He started poking it though.  Really hard.  So I had to take him away.

This little guy almost licked the back of Max's legs.

I was surprised at how much both of the boys loved all of these horrible horrible creatures.

My children are afraid of anything that moves or makes noise. 

Fearless Cash must be toughening up Max.

This was at an Easter thing at the WigWam resort by our house.  

Gwen really wanted a picture with Governor Brewer. 

This was as close as we got.

 Mr. Cash is so sweet and loves to give hugs.

We are spending lots of time at the pool.

Once a few weeks ago Joey got to come too!!

This picture makes me laugh. Every. Time.

Stay at home moms are LAZY

When I was growing up I thought my mom was pretty dumb.  She didn't go to school.  She didn't go to work.  She sat at home and watched a bunch of kids raise themselves.  When I trudged off to school every morning I couldn't WAIT until I was married with kids and could just sit around the house all day and eat whatever I wanted and watch tv. 

Sorry Mom.  

Sorry that I as an all knowing 3rd grader, I TREATED you like you were dumb and lazy.  

Sorry that I didn't notice all of the things that you did all day long everyday.

Sorry that everything you did no doubt went unnoticed and unappreciated by everyone for over 20 years.  

But THANK YOU for doing it.

When my sweet sweet little Gwenny started 1st grade something changed at my house.  

I got a taste of my own medicine.  

Suddenly I realized that Gwen thought I was stupid.  

She started asking why I didn't go to school like dad.

She started telling me cute little things she learned at school. 

And following it up with, "Did YOU know that mom?"

Hahaha...at first it was cute and funny to see the tables turned and realize how I made my own mother feel.

And then I remembered how I FELT about my mom. (You ok mom?  Stick with me...don't cry. I love you.)

How does this idea get started in such little children that their moms who sacrifice so much to stay at home and raise them, are lazy dummies?

Last night I read about Hilary Rosen accusing Ann Romney of not working a day in her life.

She raised 5 boys.

She had a job with no vacations.

Well, people will always say stupid things and what can you do?

But then this morning I was listening to the radio as I drove Gwen to school.

They happened to be talking about Ann Romney. 

The man on the radio was kinda sorta defending stay at home moms and mentioned that he has 2 kid at home, so he knows it is hard work.  And then he said, "But let's be honest here. Being a stay at home mom is not as hard of a job as being a working woman and coming home at night to make dinner and help kids with homework after a long day at work." 

Sweet sweet little Gwenny looked over at me and said, "Mom...did you ever work?" Oh man. Here we go.

Here is where I find myself in a blogging dilemma.

I try not to be too opinionated on here.  

When I first started blogging I could and did say whatever I wanted. (sorry mom)

Only family was reading it. 

I could talk about everything that happened in my life without worrying that the other person involved was going to read it.

And then one day I ran into someone in my hometown and they told me how much they loved reading my blog.  And I had to do a quick mental scan of everything I had ever said on my blog and was horrified that I might have said something that would offend them.

Since then I have offended people.  I've been told at least once that I have.

For a long time I changed the way I did things and tiptoed around things and quit being myself. 

And then I realized that no one was changing for me.

I have to change because I might offend you? 

I can't make jokes because someone might not understand that I'm kidding? (And I'm serious when I say that I am NEVER completely serious.)

I can't have opinions because they might be different from yours? 

I have strong opinions about homeschool.  Does that  mean I am judging you if you send your kids to school outside the home?  NO!!! (My kids are not homeschooled, so that would be silly...we'll talk again if I ever pull the trigger and teach them myself.)

....................................................

So here we go with the offensive predictable rant about stay at home moms from a stay at home mom.

Seriously?

First of all....let's talk about what job outside the home is harder than "staying at home".

Are we talking physically harder? Mentally harder?  Emotionally harder? 

The point I'm trying to make there is that you really can't compare them AT ALL.  

It is a sacrifice as a woman to go to work everyday when you have children at home who miss you and you miss them.  What are you sacrificing for? A bigger home?  A boat?  Food on the table?  Who can judge whether your sacrifice is meaningful or legitimate?  It isn't anyones business.

It is a sacrifice as a woman to stay at home with little kids when there are daycares on every corner and before and after school programs at every school in the country.  What are you sacrificing for? 

So we make choices about what we are sacrificing for.  And those are personal decisions. 

I have done both and I know that when I was in the height of being a busy photographer I envied my friends and neighbors who were strictly stay at home moms because I felt like I had no time to play with my kids and just enjoy them.  But when I left the kids with a babysitter for a few hours while I went on a photoshoot, it was like heaven.  I could get in the car with my equipment and not wait for little hands and feet to climb in and buckle up.  I could drive in the car and hear myself think without screaming and fighting and QUESTIONS from the back seat. I could get out of the car in one smooth motion and not worry about grabbing drinks and diaper bags and little people. (Not to mention that they NEVER leave their shoes on enroute and they can NEVER find both shoes once you arrive at your destination.) And when I got home I just wanted to kiss and hug the kids I had missed, because I had a chance to miss them.  There was definitely less yelling in those days.  No, that's probably not true.  I had a lot more time for blogging and pinterest and facebook when I spent hours on the computer editing pictures in the wee hours of the night.

When I was working I thought that if I stayed at home I would always have a clean house, laundry would never pile up, kids would never get ignored and life would just be easier.

And now that I have taken a LONG hiatus from photography, my house is never clean, my laundry is never caught up on and my kids occasionally get ignored.  Because the things you do as a working woman might be gone, but they are replaced by the work you were missing out on while you were gone.  And at least at this point in my life, the stay at home work is harder than the work I was doing as a photographer.  And as a stay at home mom you become a babysitter for everyone else, because you're at home anyway... 

As my kids get older I will take on more work as a photographer again.  It is definitely a sacrifice right now to stay home. I have been looking at rental homes in Scottsdale and I know that if I just went back to work I could afford a nicer home. It makes me feel guilty. I made my own laundry detergent for a few months...that one was a sacrifice for the whole family.  Blah blah blah....we all make sacrifices and no one cares about anyone elses reasons or sacrifices, they just want to be able to say that they do more and they are better, but it's comparing apples and lemons.

So let's not judge Ann Romney for making the decision to stay out of the workforce to raise her boys herself.  She knew she could do a better job than anyone else.  And just because she has money does not mean that it wasn't a sacrifice.  Even if she had professional help with her housework, does not mean that she didn't sacrifice and work hard.  (When you work outside the home do you have help with  not only your children, but also at work....usually.)  Her sacrifice is showing in part today in the contempt that the world feels for her and her decision to "stay home".   The world thinks that she is lazy and dumb.  

So let's hear it.  Even you strangers stumbling upon my blog by googling "names to call people with braces".... let's hear your opinion and how I offended you and how you agree or disagree with me........

(and those who didn't stumble here on accident, stay tuned for a less opinionated updated complete with pictures.)

Mr. Cash is ONE!

 

We were a little scared of the slide this time.

 

 

This is how he looked all day.  Not very excited.

  

He loves being able to walk  where he wants and to not always be stuck in a stroller.

  

I might need to dig out Max's old leash though.  This one likes to cross the street.

 There was a nice game of tag on our way back to the car.

And of course someone always has to cry when you play tag.

It usually isn't this one though.

 Here's the story behind these two pictures.

It was easier to black it out than actually photoshopping it to make it look good.

I'm not going to lie.  I'll tell you what it's hiding.

But I thought your imagination couldn't possibly be worse than the reality that these pictures tell.

There are specific people that I was afraid of seeing the truth...Patty, Kelly and Jessica.

(Jessica is one of my AZ friends.  And she has spotless baseboards.  Seriously.  I heard a story the other day about another girl PAINTING her baseboards because she knew Jessica was coming the next day.  It made me extra nervous.  As if it wasn't bad enough that Max licks his hands right in front of her when she gives me cooking lessons. And I live in a little apartment that barely holds us and all of our things and is impossible to keep clean.  And once I grabbed an already unwrapped straw for my drink at the movies. There were a few people horrified by that one.  The last thing I need is for her to see my dustmites.)

So this is what I'm hiding.

a crooked tv supported by a paperback book, a garbage bag hanging on a door, lots of dust and lost toys hiding under the end tables, an unswept floor, zebra masking tape in the middle of the living room that we use to mark how far back the kids need to stand when playing the kinect, gwens knee, a mess of cords, unfolded laundry. (And this is only what you see the second you walk into the apartment.  Can you imagine what we hide behind closed doors?)

 

  

 THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to my sister Emily, my mother in law Patty and my friend Jessica for buying Cash some presents for his first birthday.  

He didn't get any from us.  

Emily sent her package priority a week early just to be sure it made it in time!

She sent practical things like dishes and food and he was seriously so excited.  He looks studious rather than excited in the pictures, but he was feeling a little under the weather. 

Patty sent an awesome dump truck that even makes sounds and it was instantly his new favorite toy.

And Jessica picked out a super cute outfit...so really what was left for me to buy him?

Thanks guys!!

I'm not sure where my head was at for this birthday, but thankfully Joey has a good head on his shoulders and remembered to buy a cake and candles and even went all out and got birthday hats!

 See how much Gwen loves him?  The very next picture on my camera was of Max looking at him the exact same admiring way. 

 

 And we finally got some smiles after two photo shoots and a day at the park.

Cake always wins.

 

 This was making us all laugh.  He was just sticking his face right in there.  Once he realized that he could make us laugh he didn't even take the time to get his face all the way to the cake, which made us laugh even more.

I have successfully raised a precious precious spoiled rotten little man in only 1 year.  


How long do you think it will take to undo a whole year?


Also....if you haven't taught your baby to fall asleep on his own by this time...what do you do?


Did I mention I live in an apartment?  And this little guy is seriously so spoiled that he will cry for hours if needs be just to prove that he is in charge.

How can you take a bottle away under these circumstances?

Did I also mention that he shares a room with us?


HELP!!!  Is there a revised babywise edition for fixing children??


And one more thing on my mind...does anyone have a copy of Parenting with Love and Logic they can send my way?
 

What a day

As I type this at 2:03 (pm) I am still wearing the clothes I slept in, with the sleeve of my shirt partially rolled up to conceal baby snot.  Mr. Cash is feeling a little under the weather and so the rest of us are miserable. He is not a lay on the couch and watch cartoons when you are sick kind of boy.

When he woke up from his nap I wanted to cry.

Because he is one.

And he walks.

And has little hands like a raccoon.

He likes to get into the garbage.

Just like a raccoon.

And just like every other 1 year old on the planet.

So I started a bath.

Nothing else can contain him.

And then I started the washing machine.

Because Joey had a 3 a.m. wakeup call when the little person (not me) who snuck into his bed peed. all. over. him.

Unfortunately for me, Joey sleeps with 5 pillows and 2 blankets.

Fast forward who even knows how long... (Maybe 30 minutes)

I am listening to the washing machine, trying to decide if it is time to put in the fabric softener.

I am also listening to the one year old grunting and trying to decide if he is quite finished so that I can change him. (But secretly hoping that he grunts a few minutes longer because I just don't feel like it!)

And I've completely forgotten that I turned on the bathtub.

Max runs past me as fast as he can to the bathroom.

(This morning Max discovered that Joey left his ipad at home.  This has never happened before.  And Max is fully taking advantage of his alone time with Zombie Farm.  No time for bathroom breaks.)

And then we all remembered about the bathtub when we saw the water seeping out into the hallway, headed for our bedrooms.  

Oops.

I guess I have more laundry to do now.

And I've never been so glad to be on the bottom floor of an apartment building.

Karma was sick of waiting for me to mop the bathrooms I guess.

(Does Karma care about things like that?)

Now please tell me what a crappy and unproductive day you are having...

And what you are making for dinner out of the meager ingredients in your cupboards?

And maybe just throw in a dumb mistake you've made recently...

Ready....GO

Stay tuned for pictures of the baby's 1st birthday.

Belated Secrets

I whipped this up as we were heading out the door for Utah a lot of weeks ago.

(It was a crazy few days of packing and nails in tires and well...I think that is enough to make things crazy.)

I copied it to dropbox so that I could upload it from Joey's laptop once we reached our destination.

After we made it to Utah, I powered up the trusty old laptop to find a blank screen.

We can hear it thinking very loudly, but there are no lights on in that head.

Soooo.....here is our last minute - now late - digital only - Christmas card.

 This was a rough year for getting things done.

(every year is a rough one for accomplishments when you are L-A-Z-Y)

 

AND IN RELATED NEWS

.........................

This year we had a super thoughtful SECRET SANTA.

We were never quick enough to catch them.

BUT since I have almost NO friends and our first gift was an apartment perfect, toddler proof, little Christmas tree AND the only people who could know about our SAD SAD little ribbon Christmas tree are people reading my blog, I thought I would send out a big giant THANK YOU from here to our sweet secret SANTA.

This may seem as belated as our Christmas Card, but we got out last delivery just tonight, so I thought it would be appropriate.

THANK YOU!

Utah is COLD

Since we couldn't make it to Hawaii for Thanksgiving this year with the rest of the Carlson clan I thought I might finally have to cook my own Thanksgiving dinner.

But Joey's aunt Lori graciously invited us to their feast in Cedar City.

Joey couldn't make it because his first final was the monday after Thanksgiving.

But we ditched him and went anyway.

He was invited by a study groupie to his Grandma's house.

Awkward. 

That's how I would have felt at least.

But Joey never feels awkward.

And he loves to flirt with old women.

And he didn't have to eat a turkey made by me.

I didn't get a SINGLE picture except with my camera phone.

AND of other people and their children.

This is Lori and Brian's newest grandbaby, Austin.

She was blessed while we were there and I couldn't resist a few shots of a sleeping baby in a living room with perfect lighting.

Gwen lost her third tooth while we were there.  Nana pulled it out and I was so sad that I missed it AGAIN!

But then she lost her other front tooth a few days later and I got to pull it out. 

Yay! Now Gwen has another memory with me besides just getting yelled at.

We got to spend a little time with my parents and my sisters in St. George. They all thoroughly spoiled us and sent us home with a trunk load of Christmas presents.  I still haven't bought a single gift.  I better get started.

We had tons of fun in Cedar City.  I felt a little awkward for a tiny little second when I realized that it was the whole Whitney/Tavoian/Beard clan plus me and the kids.  But there was nowhere I'd rather be.  They have always been so good to us and treat us like they like us. And that is hard to come by.

We did a super super quick family photo shoot. But that will have to wait until Cash goes down for another nap today.

Then we headed to South Jordan where we had less than a day to pack our whole house and get it in storage.  My mom spent way too much money on packing supplies and came up to help out.  My brother Luke and his pregnant wife came over and watched the kids while I helped my mom spend her money.  Joey's aunt Susan came over early and just completely saved the day.  She pretty much packed the house all by herself and some of us helped a little.  Her husband came over after work and got busy helping. Joey's uncle Mark came with a trailer and hauled it all to a storage unit for me.  I think he took 100 trips.  I felt pretty dumb about the whole thing, but mostly just so GRATEFUL for such wonderful family!  My cousin Ryan drove all the way from St. George to help out and my sister came to help me clean the next day.  And of course my "teenagers" Kayleigh and Viva whisked the kids away and I didn't even have to worry about them.

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!

This was the kids on the trip back to Utah. 

This was taken before we realized that my evil GPS took us on a long and windy scenic route.

I hate her.

Cash learned a few weeks ago that he loves to hear the sound of himself shrieking.

The sound of Cash shrieking makes Gwen sob uncontrollably.

Max has a teeny tiny bladder.  And he takes his shoes off promptly after getting into the car.

And throws them places. Never to be found again.

This makes gas station clothing changes more difficult than they should be.

To make things so much worse I overheard someone at the counter at McDonald's say, "Syphilis, the gift that keeps on giving..." just as the girl handed us our food out the drive-thru window.

Of course we all got stomach aches and the kids got carsick.

I hope that's all we got.

When Max was feeling considerably carsick with his window rolled down he said, "MMMOOOOOOMMMMM........why didn't you just say no?" (Referring to McDonalds).

It was the worst ride of my life.

(That probably isn't true. We went on lots of van rides to remote places growing up.)

Meet our sad little Christmas tree.

But it was so easy to put up and the clean up will be just as nice.

Have your kids ever puked in your car?

Have you ever puked in the car?

Neither have ever happened to me, but I can see it in my future. 

So tell me how to deal with it?

Well enough screaming ensure that it never happens again?

Tomatoes

Sometimes...

when a baby wakes up at midnight and you're just getting home from school, you get them out of bed to play. 

And get some kisses.

And blow on tummies.

And watch tv.

And to share sweet pork salad.

(Not pictured...)

After the babe was back in bed Joey asked how I thought that diaper was going to look. (He had a lot of tomatoes.)

Fast forward 8 hours.

We are trying to get out of the door in under 2 minutes.

(We know down to the second when we have to leave the house without Gwenny being late for school.)

I am busy making a ham sandwich as fast as I can.

Gwen walks into the kitchen and says in her snottiest teenage voice, "MOM! WHY DID YOU GET ME DIRTY CLOTHES TO WEAR TO SCHOOL? THERE IS STUFF ALL OVER THESE!"

(Nevermind that she is 7 and should be getting her own clothes out the closet and definitely not yelling at me for waiting on her hand and foot....)

I get a little closer and discover that she has poop all over her uniform shirt and black pants.

Fresh poop.

So I rush her into the bathroom to clean her up and change her clothes.

Then while I am trying to clean up the baby in record time, Max walks over and mimicking his sisters tone says, "Mom...there's poop on my clothes too!"

Sure enough...fresh poop...on his shorts.

I clean up poop like a pro and Gwen was only 1 minute late for school.  Max was 15 minutes early, but that i

s a whole other story.

 And THAT is what happens when you feed a baby lots of tomatoes in the middle of the night.